wet noodle

Definitions

1. 1

   A noodle that is freshly made, before it dries out and becomes rigid.

2. 2

   A means of enacting a mild or ineffective symbolic punishment.

   • I think I understand police states and things like that. They are not intimidated by being whipped with a wet noodle, and Jackson-Vanik is a wet noodle.
   • The wet noodle punishment argument is that it is in practice impossible to punish, e.g., a committed rape with beating the offender with a wet noodle.
   • “Yeah, if they get out of line, I'll beat 'em with a wet noodle!” Mark chuckles.
3. 3

   A wimp.

   • I am a wet noodle, she had said sadly to Sister Albertine.
   • He claimed to be an old army paratrooper, but talked like a social working wet noodle.
   • They may be just a "wet noodle" who has had some negative experiences in the conventional business world that caused them to be defensive in their attitude.
4. ›+ 4 more definitionsshow fewer

   1. 4

      Someone or something that is limp, relaxed, or weak.

      • A day in the water in any weather need not turn you into a cold, wet noodle if you suit up in the proper attire.
      • I wouldn't go as far as Robert Samuelson did in Newsweek in referring to your plan as a wet noodle. It seems that somewhere between a wet noodle and bold new initiative, we might have reality.
      • If you're trying to control that wet noodle, there's got to be a lot of intelligence behind it in the way of microchips actually out there doing the controlling."
   2. 5

      A man with erectile dysfunction.

      • "Don't drink too much tonight. You know what happens when you drink too much." She lowered her voice. "You become a wet noodle."
      • "A real wet noodle — I wouldn't have had him on a bet," Maxine sniffed.
   3. 6

      A flaccid penis.

      • TONO: A wet noodle. That's the explanation I gave to the desk clerk for having to leave in such a hurry. (He laughs.) A wet noodle. (He makes the gesture with a flaccid finger.) Oh, Jesus, and the guy understood.
      • Today, she calls her state of sexual boredom chronic and puts the blame for it on liberated men. “They've gotten so ... There's this little wet noodle—this little nothing, you know—flapping around between my legs.
      • Warm pleasure replaced cold pain and I looked down at myself... two shriveled up prunes and a wet noodle.
   4. 7

      A weak handshake.

      • A good solid handshake tells it all. Beware of the "wet noodle" handshake, which conveys a weak and unsure character, or using both hands, such as the "politician's handshake" or the "glove," using both hands around your hand.
      • Clearly the "wet noodle" handshake will not conquer the world and the "knuckle grinder" will not win friends.
      • On the contrary, anyone who has been on the receiving end of the proverbial “wet noodle” handshake also knows what I am talking about.

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